How to go from disappointment to a date with destiny!
A disappointment is like a bad date; its alluring at first, becomes interesting and exciting, full of emotion and then it talks too much, becomes inconsiderate and leaves you with the bill. So let’s talk about how to get out of it respectfully. A disappointment brings with it a feeling of drudgery when you realize you missed an important appointment or your perceived opportunity did not work out as you expected. Have you ever been there? You had a scheduled appointment that was really important and then for whatever reason you missed it? You usually sound something like this, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this, why?” Then you grab your head and shake it back and forth while sighing deeply in remorse. Yes, that’s what a missed appointment feels like and looks like most of the time because we have been let down in some way or by someone, including ourselves. And unfortunately like the date it can leave you with a little regret but the silver lining is it can leave you with a lesson if you allow it to.
The connotation of the prefix “dis” can mean away, apart, utterly asunder or a reversing negative force. How’s that to help you get a clear picture? So it has the knack to become a negative force that reverses your ability to try again, wow! Be Careful. Disappointment is a feeling/emotion we create when we feel we “missed out on the best opportunity for ourselves”. It is a feeling of displeasure due to our hopes being dashed or being unfulfilled in some way. Consistent disappointment can lead to grief and regret in our lives that seems unmanageable and downright depressing. You begin to feel like the world is against you. You feel like you are being kicked out of the best prospects on purpose as if nobody wants you to be in the popular crowd! You start to believe that great things happen for other people, just not you! You start wondering did God lose my prayer list because I am missing a lot of good stuff that I am hoping for, God are you there or did you give the devil the steering wheel to my life, what’s up? Be honest, you’ve felt that way, we all have and it sucks right?
Can I submit to you that our feeling of disappointment is perceived and it is coming from where we place our expectations? Life happens so there will always be things happening contrary to our hopes and dreams, it’s called life because it’s constantly changing even if we are not. So then what is our goal? How do we handle disappointments when they arrive at our address, time and again? In recently dealing with some major transitions in my marriage and pursuing purpose I have come up with a few things that were most helpful and created a breakthrough in my life.
Grieve it! - Give yourself the chance to grieve over the incident. Yes, get in your feeling’s contrary to popular opinion we all need a good cry or even a good scream every now and then so we don’t implode or explode in an unhealthy manner hurting ourselves or others. When my cleaning business took a downward spiral, I was so disappointed, behind on bills and even ashamed. The more I tried the worse it got and it felt like my peace of mind was leaving like a man being chased out of the woods by a bear! I can remember driving down the street and tears began to roll down my cheeks because my expectations for myself and my business were not where I wanted them to be so I let myself grieve. I didn’t pretend it didn’t bother me and then I prayed and poured out my complaint to God. Always know God is ready to listen. I love a verse in the bible that says, “I cry to you Lord, I say you are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” In essence, David was saying you are my hiding place from the storms of life and he teaches us here to turn our expectation from us to God by recognizing our cares and then casting them on God. We cannot analyze or worry our problems away, it is simply too big a burden to bear. In addition, he shows us that God is our portion. God is our smooth place amongst a road in life filled with jagged edges, twist, turns and detours. He is able to speak a word to us to help us rebuild whatever we feel we have lost to life; God is able to get our portion to us no matter what roadblocks seem to be in the way. There is power available in His presence to comfort us for any situation we just need to believe. So, disappointments can drive you to be miserable or prayerful, it’s your choice.
We will constantly take the same life lessons until we choose to place our expectations in the right place and the right person. If we continually set our expectations on what is external we will continually be disappointed but when we look inside and place them on God and his wisdom for our lives then we will truly begin to build the right way. Once you are done grieving, check your habits and ask how did I get here and be honest. God usually takes these times to refine us and we are left with the gems for living. May I suggest to you that disappointments are symptoms and the symptoms are pointing to a deeper issue within you, especially if it is becoming a cycle? Disappointments keep showing up because life wants you to address giving you “a new appointment” instead of your disappointment. Open your eyes to the new! Recognize your disappointment but then ask yourself, “What new appointment does God want me to recognize and embrace?” Wow! What a paradigm shift! Which brings me to my second lesson, nothing God allows is designed to kill you, and it’s allowed to build you. With God on your side no enemy of your soul will ever be able to prosper.
Leave it-At some point after grieving it, you need to have a funeral and leave it! So as artist, Jon Mayer says, “Walking like a one man army fighting with the shadows in your head, Living out the same old moment knowing you’d be better off instead if you could only say what you need to say.” My point, get it out, pray it out so you do not just move on but move forward there is a difference. To move on is simply to move along and to move forward is to move forward in a purposeful way. Mayer goes on to say, “Even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken, even if the eyes are closing do it with a heart wide open.” Ultimately I believe he is saying, “Take your voice back from hardship or disappointment and speak life.” Speak what you need to now because you may not get the chance if you continue to rehearse frustrations and setbacks. Decide to have your comeback from the setback. I believe I would name my song, “Pray what you need to pray, but both praying and speaking are truly important for your comeback.
Now that you’ve dethroned disappointment it’s time to listen to God, listen to yourself in the stillness of the moment and move forward. Have faith and hope against hope that God’s promise will come to pass in your life and things will get better. Hope against hope is clinging to mere possibility; so when there is nothing left to hope for you hope in God’s promise and character anyway! You trust that what he put in you is far greater that your disappointment and with hope put a demand on the greatness in you. You can get past this point!
This is what is called a defining moment. A defining moment is a point at which your true character is revealed and you navigate toward who you truly are and what you truly want out of life. You will rise up! If you are the test taker, then you are designed to pass this test, believe that! You have been prophetically planted to affect a generation. I was just sharing with my daughter that I believe everyone has greatness in them to affect this world in some way but it’s up to us to answer the call. If you will, notice this perspective, your disappointments can lead to defining moments hurling you into your purpose so you can pour it out in the earth. While our disappointments our valid they can perpetrate themselves land owners when they are really only renters that will try to leave us to a vague, aimless existence, so I am writing to tell you to “Wake up!”
Figuratively, call the office and make a new appointment with your purpose. In my situation, I had to ask God and myself, “Where do we go from here, what new habits do I create?” As the saying goes, “When you’re tired of being tired” then you are ready to embrace new! Now listen intently and be open to make wise decisions that will positively affect your future with the assurance that God’s divine providence is directing your every step. A profound proverbs says, “It takes wisdom to build a house and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; it takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.” Knowing that stay in faith and rejoice history maker you are about to change your legacy with the power invested in you to make a new choice! You can get up again.
Speaker and Coach
Bridge to Breakthrough Experience